A Last Toss

And if I asked you
yet again
would you hold me
would you still refuse
knowing what you know now
would you still care not

would you tell me
your mother
you man
your woman
your principles
your god
your gut
whatever was in the way
this was a moral dilemma
this was a rock
and I was a hard place

would you snuff
the urgency within me
pinch it out
spit on it
shred it
consider it
emotional stew
goulash
gumbo
mumbo jumbo
hobo magic
baggage
and not your problem

I have strength
for a last toss
if the rope doesn’t
reach and catch
the water will drown
the flames will engulf
the wind will hurl me down
the sand will bury me
my soul will fly away.

On A Flat Stone

If I wrote your name on a flat stone and threw it into a field wildflowers would grow bees would hum hummingbirds would glide birds would walk a little slower If I threw it across a lake it would dance to the other side popping each bubble it encountered and settle on the other shore waiting for a return flight If I buried it under a black walnut tree lava would stop and compass point the gibbous moon would hide what was left of her face clouds would laugh burst and cry All this because your name was written on a sun-warmed flat stone once held in the palm of my heart and tossed away.

#38

Should I coolly cascade up the stairs
and meet him.

Should I throw down our faces
and our wits
or should I not.

Should I buy the beer
and frost a heart
as one would a glass.

Should I sift the sawdust
for the diamonds that lay there.

Should my elbow be more
mahogany than bone.

Should she behind the bar
know my eyes and my limit.

Should I pass
to the rest room
flush the handled john
even though it wasn’t used.

Should I eat
with napkin folded in my lap

Should I palm the spoon.

Should I slip the peas into my sleeve.

I am afraid to smile
as I might be a crocodilian thing
and my laugh
a howl at the moon.

Will I shake his hand.
I think that I could not.

How could I be so bronze
when all my blood is hot wax
my ankles so well turned.

How might I enjoin a man
that sings a melody
I once hummed.

How should I tie my shoes
be clean as a new ass.
Oh, should I or
should I not.

How could I meet him
and not
hold her hand to long.